The cliché would be to say, as the final 12 hours of 2013 tick down, that it is blowing out the last of the old year.
Globally and locally, it's been a year filled with joy and misery. Every year is, of course. We always seem to forget that.
The local good and bad:
I celebrated my second anniversary with Jennifer. I celebrated the birth of my daughter. I bought a new car.
But I lost my grandfather. Relationships have grown strained, either by time or distance, or some other factor. And I feel like I'm not living up to my potential; like I'm not me.
Of course, there's little I could do regarding Poppy. But those last two rest on me.
The wind might be blowing me along, but it's up to me to set the sails and take the rudder.
Here's the part where, as I've done almost every year of my life, I resolve to make the next year better than the last.
Before I do that again, though, I wonder: How can I guide the ship if I don't feel I have any navigational guides? I'm scared of where I'm going and where I'll end up.
Yes, philosophers, religions, etc. offer routes, or compasses or star charts.
I've followed those in some form or another to this point. Can I trust I'm on the right course? I suppose that's what faith is, and mine is being tested.
Maybe Sophie is picking up on my wavelength: She has started to scream when Jen or I leave her alone for even a second. Like she's immediately lost without us there.
I don't want Sophie to feel the way I do. But neither Jen nor I have found a solution.
Perhaps my answer lies with Sophie's. The world is vast and there's much to explore.
We're not lost. The wind hasn't blown us off course.
It's OK to be scared.
The world is round.
