No smoking aloud

The printed photograph was of a sign that had a cigarette with a slash through it.

The sign read, “No smoking aloud.”

“Shhhhh,” I said, as I pinned it up in my work space.

If nothing else, working for a newspaper offers the opportunity to laugh at linguistic and grammatical mishmash.

As with all human beings, I am far from innocent when it comes to such errors. When typing quickly, I’ve confused “it’s” and “its” and “your” with “you’re.”

And I’ve rightly taken my lumps.

That doesn't stop me from giggling at the quirks of language. It has also made me realize just how important knowing the basics of language, grammar and syntax really are.

Here’s an absurd example that’s made the rounds:

"Let’s eat, Grandma," is not the same as "Let’s eat Grandma." Punctuation saves lives.

I point this out because, recently, a family member or two has taunted me for being a “grammar nazi.” I take some umbrage, as I’m not some sort of tyrant about it.

Believe me, if I was asked to diagram a sentence, I’m not sure I could do it. Maybe when I was in sixth grade.

My concern has more to do with knowing my family members have benefited from an upbringing similar to mine, and I’m sure our parents would be sad to know the money they spent on 12 years of Catholic schooling bounced like a brick falling off a highway overpass.

A basic understanding of the rules is all I’m asking for; I’ve been trained to write for the masses at a fourth-grade level in hopes everyone will understand what I’m trying to say. The least the masses can do is live up to that fourth-grade education.

And maybe try to take some pride in their upbringing.